First in Show

"And now, ladies and gentlemen..."

"Son," spoken at the same time.

"Mom...Dad..." Josh said with a sigh of annoyance.  He cleared his throat and continued.

"We have seen four outstanding dog breeds this afternoon and now the last in this first annual Spencer Family Backyard Dog Show will be presented.  Please bring out Teddy the Labrador Retriever!"

The French doors that lead to the Spencer family's backyard from the kitchen opened slowly.  Josh's mom and dad, the Pritz neighbors from three houses down, the Jacks neighbors from across the street, the Whit neighbors from down the block, and the Swanson neighbors from next door turned in their seats to look behind them.

"Go on, Teddy," whispered Josh's older brother, John, who gave Teddy a gentle pat on his rear.

Josh began the presentation -

"Here we have Teddy.  Teddy is a male, seven-year-old Lab.  He is chocolate in color.  Teddy, like the other four, will be judged on cuteness, activity interest, intelligence, bark control, and physical fitness...

"Cuteness.  Will my impartial judges rank Teddy in this category."

(All five judges happen to be in Josh's second grade class.)

"I give Teddy a 5 out of 5," said Stephanie, or Judge no. 1.

"I give Teddy a 5 out of 5," said Skippy, or Judge no. 2.

"I give Teddy a 5, too," said Brandon, or Judge no. 3.

"5," said Jennifer, or Judge no. 4.

"Teddy's fur doesn't look soft.  Is his fur on his ears matted?" asked Mitch, tough Judge no. 5.  Mitch had at least one fault for each category for each dog.  And by now, the show had been going on about two hours.  Everyone was tired and restless.

"Give Teddy a 5 for cuteness!" whispered the other four judges in tired anger.

"Teddy's fur on his ears is matted because he always falls asleep when we scratch his ears.  How is that for cute?" Josh said firmly.

"Every time I scratch...I mean...Okay, Teddy gets a 5 out of 5 from me."

"Teddy gets a perfect score in the cuteness category," declared Josh.

The audience tiredly clapped their hands.

Josh continued his presentation -

"Activity interest.  This is a hands-on category.  I have in my hand a toy rope...Teddy, do you want to play with me?"

Josh dragged the rope on the grass away from Teddy.  Teddy's fluffy tail wagged furiously, eyes fixed on the thing that was moving, and followed the rope, ready to pounce when Josh stopped.  Indeed, Teddy sunk his teeth into the rope the moment Josh let go.

"5!" yelled Stephanie, Skippy, Brandon, and Jennifer.  Silence from Judge no. 5.

"But that rope is Teddy's toy anyway," exclaimed Mitch.

"Mitch, this rope is brand new.  My mom and dad just bought it last weekend and kept it hidden until now.  This is the first time he has seen "his toy."  Can't you see how very interested he was?"

Everyone in the Spencer backyard stared at Mitch.

"Yes.  Yes I did see.  I give Teddy a 5 out of 5 for activity interest."

"Teddy aces the activity interest category.  The next category is intelligence.  This part of the test is the most difficult.  Please watch closely.

"Teddy, look at me.  See Joshy go."

Josh walked away to hide behind a bush at the end of the yard.

Near the open French doors, John whispered for Teddy to come toward him.  Teddy followed orders.  After a couple of minutes of wondering where Josh went and following John's lead, John whispered again,

"Go find Joshy."

Teddy raced toward the pool behind the grassy yard and beyond the bush Josh was thought to be behind.  A ticklish laughter could be heard.

"Stop licking me, Teddy!" Josh said laughing.

Josh and Teddy walked back into the yard.

"As you can see, Teddy was able to find me not where I showed him I was but in a spot he did not know about.  Judges, does this show intelligence?"

The first four waited for Mitch to find something wrong.  Mitch, surprisingly, smiled.

"Well, I'm impressed.  Teddy gets a perfect score from me."

Everyone sighed with relief.

"5," said Stephanie.

"5," said Skippy.

"Same," said Brandon.

Jennifer nodded in agreement.

"Perfect score for Teddy it is, in the intelligence category," declared Josh.

"The fourth test is bark control.  I ask for full audience participation in this.  When I tell Teddy to go into the audience, pet him, scratch his ears, really make him feel good.  Sometimes Teddy gets excited when he gets a lot of loving...Now, Teddy, go where everyone is sitting.  Go boy!"

Teddy ran into the audience, where everyone patted him and scratched his ears.  Younger children tugged at his tail and stroked him playfully.

A hint of low growling in enjoyment...but no barking.  Everyone looked to the judges.

"5," from all five.

"A perfect five from all five," Josh said with a big smile.  Teddy just needed to pass the physical fitness part.

"The last test in the show is physical fitness.  I will walk Teddy..."

"Josh, we all saw Teddy run to you for the intelligence test.  He did not seem out of breath.  His teeth look fine because of the way he bit into the rope for the activity test.  His fur is clean and healthy - I can hear his bath time when my bedroom window is open.  I give Teddy a perfect score," Mitch said  before Josh could finish his sentence.

"Really?  Well, do you four agree?  Do you need to see Teddy up close to give a score?" Josh asked, shocked by Mitch's strong, no fault words.

Stephanie, Skippy, Brandon, and Jennifer shook their heads no - they did not need to see Teddy up close.

"A 5, then?"

"Yes," spoken together.

"Okay.  Can the other dog contestants be brought out together?" Josh said.

A small, white miniature Poodle ran toward Teddy.  A Parson Terrier did the same.  Followed by a white American Eskimo and a black/tan/white Beagle.

"In last place, with a score of 18, is the Pritz Poodle!"

Applause.

"In fourth place, with a score of 20, is the Swanson Beagle!"

Applause.

"In third place, with a score of 21, is the Whit American Eskimo!"

Applause, applause.

"In second...and this is close...with a score of 24, is the Jacks Parson Terrier!"

Applause, applause, applause.

"With a perfect score of 25, first in show is...Teddy, my Labrador Retriever!!!"

"Yea Teddy!" screamed all in the audience and the judges.


The first annual Spencer Family Backyard Dog Show ended in a thunderous roar of cheers, excitement, and a bit of relief.

The most popular breed in the United States was officially the most popular breed on Forest Hill Lane and in the Spencer family (but everyone knew that).